Posted by: Kyle Post on 09/07/2017

7 Steps to Stop Struggling and Finally Create the Life of Your Dreams

7 Steps to Stop Struggling and Finally Create the Life of Your Dreams

by Kyle Post; this article originally published on and is republished here for those WillowSource visitors not familiar with Kyle's work.

Have you been trying unsuccessfully to change certain areas of your life or worse, feeling totally stuck? What if I told you there’s a better way to make the change you seek; one that doesn't require effort in the same way we’ve been led to believe?  In fact, if you focus on the right things, it won’t seem so hard at all, and the actual physical changes around you will happen automatically.  In this article I’ll reveal the same approach I used to completely change my life in a little over two years (sorry...automatic doesn't necessarily mean instant).  

A Little About My Transformation

In September of 2014, I hit rock bottom.  I was depressed and feeling totally trapped in an unfulfilling life.  I had a job that paid well but made me miserable.  I had just recently divorced and I had no savings, two kids to help bring up who I had little patience for (and for which I carried much guilt), and no joy at all.

What I discovered is that things started changing seemingly by magic when I began using a different approach to create change.  One that didn't require working more hours, false affirmations (like stating I was happy and abundant when I wasn't) or visualizing a certain amount of money.

Two years and five months later, my life is totally unrecognizable.  I work for myself at a serene holistic center where I have a healing practice and work on a second business venture.  I have found love again unlike anything I ever imagined was possible.  I have patience, fun and laughter with my kids.  And that job that was making me miserable paid me a handsome severance package to leave. I now truly am abundant, debt free and living a joyful, creative life on my terms.

The Hard Way and the Efficient Way

There are two paths to create change in our lives: the hard way and the efficient way.  The hard way is what I tried for many years and what you may be doing now, which is working hard on the physical plane to change your reality.  You put a plan in place, set aside time and work really hard.  You remember The Law of Attraction and The Secret and throw in some affirmations and visualizations.  You take one step forward and two steps back.  You have less time and less joy.  Your stress increases and you start getting angry at the universe for not helping you even though you are doing all the “right” things.  Why does it seem so hopeless sometimes?

The problem here is that we are extremely powerful beings.  But our power to create our reality is largely in the subconscious mind and when we don’t change the beliefs lurking down there we’re fighting against them.  This is a battle that cannot be won.  

You Don't Need to Learn How to Manifest

You are constantly and automatically manifesting your reality in accordance with your beliefs.  You don’t need to learn how to manifest.  If the outer reality is not in alignment with what you want for yourself, then you MUST change your inner beliefs to be in alignment.  Once that's done, your outer reality will AUTOMATICALLY come into alignment.  This is an immutable law of the universe; it cannot be any other way.  

Law of Attraction books like The Secret tend to gloss over the depth and effort needed to get to the root of our false, negative beliefs and bring them into our awareness.  Only then can we hope to replace those limiting beliefs with empowering ones.  And only then can we hope to truly change our outer reality to be in alignment with our wishes. 

Put simply, affirmations and visualizations don’t work when they’re at odds with our inner beliefs.

So how do you align your inner beliefs so that the life you want is created automatically?  

Well, after looking back over the last two years of my life, where I went from having an unfulfilling job with no savings, no ideas, no time and seemingly no way out, to being free, abundant and joyful, I’ve come up with the following seven steps that harness the two most powerful forces on earth: our own subconscious mind and the power of spirit (call it God, the Universe, The Force...whatever works for you).  

You already know the power of your subconscious mind.  But by asking for help from spirit in the right way, you engage these two all-powerful forces to work together in replacing your limiting beliefs and generating the life you want.

Step 1: Give Up

Huh?  Ok what I mean by this is to give up the control, the idea that you alone have the answers.  I thought I was doing all the right things for years by working hard, planning and asking the universe to give me what I wanted.  But therein lies the problem: you think you know what you want, but in reality, there’s a higher power that knows better.  It knows what you think you want vs. what would really make you happy.  What would really make you happy may be something you can’t even imagine within your current belief system.  

It’s like wanting to climb this hill in front of you because that’s all you can see, but there’s a whole mountain beyond that you can’t see from where you are.  Why limit yourself to the hill if you can have the mountain?  “Let go and let God” is a saying that applies here.  

Take Responsibility

Before you begin this step, you also need to accept that you yourself are the lone entity responsible for your situation and your negative feelings.  It’s not fair that we form negative beliefs about ourselves when we are very young and that these beliefs hide in our subconscious mind sabotaging our actions.  But that’s the way it is, and for all of our frustration with it, when we ask for help it is given and the evolution taken by our soul during the process is the real reason we are here.

By the end of this first step (detailed below) you should be crying or very emotional and you should feel the love of spirit in your heart.  This is important because it means that you’ve truly let go of your negative feelings of anger, frustration and blame and are tapping into the mind of God, which has infinite compassion for you.  But spirit also respects free will, and until you truly let go of what you’re getting out of blaming others or feeling angry, you won’t be open to the help that so desperately wants to reach you.

Leave the Details to the Universe

When you’re ready, this is what I recommend you do:

Sit quietly where no one will disturb you for awhile.  Let yourself feel all the frustration, anger, hopelessness, fear and other negative feelings and feel the desire to be rid of them forever.   

When you feel you’ve truly let go of your negative emotions and feel a release and maybe just sadness or love or both, focus on how you want to feel about elements of your life rather than what you think will make you feel this way.  For example, instead of saying “I want to be an entrepreneur”, say “I want to enjoy my work”.  Instead of saying “I want $100,0000”, say “I want to be financially free”.  Let your whole being fill up with desire for these feelings and faith that spirit will find a way to bring them to you.  Doing this will open the door to true miracles in your life.

For me, this step was the beginning and probably the hardest part of the whole process.  I was at the end of my rope.  I tried everything I could think of and it wasn’t getting any better.  So I finally sat quietly, let go of all anger, frustration and blame and asked God to please make me happy.  I said “I don’t want to die, but I also can’t continue to live like this.  I give up.  Please heal me or send someone to heal me because I can’t do it myself.  Thank you."  

Which brings us to the second step.

Step 2:  Feel Gratitude

The book The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles says that the feeling of gratitude brings your mind closer to spirit which wants to give you what you seek. Without feeling gratitude, you are delaying the universe’s delivery of more good things to you.

How to Feel Gratitude When You Don’t Have What You Want

So what the hell do you feel gratitude for when you’re life is not what you want?  When I used to get depressed, well intentioned people would try to make me feel better by saying stuff like “be grateful what you have.”  This just made me frustrated because I knew that I was fortunate in many ways, yet I was still miserable.  But when I did the first step of giving up and asking for the life that spirit wanted for me, I felt immense, unconditional love.  If you too felt the love of spirit, you can be thankful for that, if nothing else.

Thank spirit for being there to support you when asked, and give thanks for the good things that will be coming your way.  Give thanks for the things that you do appreciate in your life if you can think of anything.  If not, don't’ dwell on it.  Just give thanks for the love and support of spirit.  It’s a good idea to do this daily, even for just a few minutes in a quiet space.  

This will keep the gates open for good things to come your way and help keep you from falling into your old, negative ways of thinking which will stop everything in it’s tracks.

Step 3: Commit to Patience & Positivity

Sometimes, changes take a long time to happen.  The bigger the changes, the longer it takes.  

We’re in an energetically dense place here on earth.  It’s probable that in the spirit world a thought becomes manifest instantly.  Can you imagine the chaos this would create if that happened here on earth?  Think about it!  Our minds are uncontrollable wild beasts that flit from one thought to another like bees move from flower to flower.  We have negative, even murderous thoughts sometimes, but we usually check those way before we act on them.  But until we get complete control of our mind and thoughts, it’s a good thing our thoughts don’t manifest immediately.  

Unfortunately, this also means that we have to set things in motion and wait awhile for things to happen.  Spirit is an amazing thing and can make even the most grand changes happen.  But it does so through the movement of earthly things, like other people, events and synchronicity.  And it can take time for everything to come into perfect alignment to give you what you want.  So for a time, you may be like a person with a train ticket, waiting seemingly forever for your train to arrive.

But if you give in to hopelessness and frustration, it’s like leaving the train station and cancelling the trip when the train was on it’s way to you, slowly building speed.  If you lose your faith, everything will stop until you gain it back and feel love and gratitude.  For this reason, it’s imperative to commit to the long haul.  You have to have absolute faith that all will come to you in due time, and that all you have to do is remain positive, faithful and grateful.  

While you’re waiting, you can speed up the process by becoming aware of your thoughts and finding the root of negative ones that will stop the train in it’s tracks.

Step 4:  Cultivate Self-Awareness

You won’t change a lifetime’s worth of habitual negative thinking overnight.  But every time a negative thought does arise, it’s an opportunity to understand the root so you can transform it into something positive. How do you do this?

Starve Your Black Wolf

The first thing you need to do is observe your speech, self-talk, and thoughts.  Thoughts come first, then self-talk (talking to yourself or others in your head), then speech.  As thoughts move to self-talk and then to speech, they become more powerful in creating your reality.  The first key is to notice your negative thoughts as they arise and STOP FEEDING THEM.  It’s just like the old parable about the white wolf and black wolf fighting for control: which will win?  The one you feed.  

You feed a negative thought by dwelling on it.  By continuing to focus on it, the thought brings forth other, similar thoughts, and they in turn lead to negative self-talk.  Then they turn into speech with others.  Like attracts like, so of course you’ll draw others around you who share your thoughts.  Soon, you’ll be so immersed in a reality that matches these thoughts, it will be very difficult to believe that these thoughts are not true.  

However, I propose that there are NO absolute truths in the world.  There is NO inherent meaning in the world.  The meaning is only what we make it, and you can choose what to make it by ignoring thoughts that don’t align with the reality you seek and focusing on alternative thoughts that are in alignment.

Remove Negative Thoughts by the Root

Even with this understanding, our negative thoughts have tremendous power.  How do we reduce their power so we can more easily ignore them?  By gaining an understanding of their origins.  The origin will likely be something in your past that hurt you in some way and for which you created a belief in response.  When you have awareness of the thought itself as well as the underlying belief and it’s origins, you gain immense willpower to ignore it.  Unfortunately, this is probably the hardest part of the whole process of transformation.  

This is How to Do it:

When you become aware of a thought that is out of alignment with the reality you want to create, find time to sit quietly by yourself and focus solely on finding the origin of the thought.  Make sure you have a notepad and pen handy.  Ask spirit for help in finding the root cause of this thought, so you can release it and replace it with a new one that matches the reality you want to create.  Then wait for the answer.  It may not come the first time, and it may be difficult for a while, but I promise you this:  the more you practice this, the more self-aware you’ll become and the more quickly you’ll be able to find the root.  You’ll likely find themes running through your life and one thought is related to the next which is related to the next.  As you gain awareness, you’ll eventually be able to get to the root of a thought in one sitting after it comes into your awareness.

Becoming aware of the situation in your past that led you to make up a false belief is a powerful step, but only the first.  Your triggers will not go away instantly.  The next step is to notice it when it comes up again, choose to dismiss it, and choose another more empowering belief.  As you do this over and over again, it becomes easier until it eventually becomes automatic.  It takes time and practice.  But it’s the key to lasting change, joy and mastery of your life. 

Step 5: Take Inspired Action

Believe it or not, this is probably the easiest part of the whole process of transformation if you wholeheartedly follow the above steps.  It’s why I say this is the “efficient” way to transform your life. 

Small but Different

Inspired action is simply acting when inspired.  You do not have to force yourself to act.  You’ll want to.  You will hear a call or feel an urge to do something different.  It may be something a little out of your comfort zone, but it won’t be some big monumental task.  If it is, it’s likely that you’re ego is getting in the way; that your head is leading instead of your heart.  The action will likely be small, but different than what you have done in the past.  

For example, I had the urge to attend a spiritual development meetup class on a Saturday that I would probably have otherwise spent in total isolation.  It cost me $20 and 3 hours.  It was literally the beginning of the rest of my life.  On that day, I met my future love and business partner, a whole bunch of new friends, and set other things in motion that I couldn’t possibly have imagined at the time.  This was 3 months after I took step #1 and gave up.

Let Synchronicity be Your Guide

Synchronicity will also increase in your life at about the same time inspired action arrives.  On the day before the meetup class that would change my life, a friend of mine asked to meet me that same Saturday to talk about a new business idea he had.  We ended up meeting at a restaurant next door to where my class was.  Again, this set things in motion that I couldn’t have imagined at the time.  

Inspired action is not hard.  You’ll feel it in your heart and synchronicity will help you along and prove to you that spirit is at work and that you’re on the right track.

Step 6:  Recommit to Patience & Positivity 

I could’ve easily made this a 5 step process and stopped after “Take Inspired Action”.  But to me, this is a critical juncture.  What do you do when the inspired action does not result in what you think it will, or worse, results in no perceptible change at all?  It’s easy to get discouraged at this point but it’s critical that you stay committed to patience and positivity.

When I met my friend to talk about that business idea, we decided to give it a go.  For a bunch of different reasons, it didn’t work out (at least not yet, you never know) but it gave me ideas that I brought into a new business partnership that has made that one a success.  

Was I disappointed that the first one didn’t work out?  A little.  Did I let that get me down?  No.  

Did everything change when I went to that meetup on that fateful Saturday?  No.  It took two months for anything to really change in my outward reality.  But I maintained faith that there was a bigger plan in motion and that these were the first small steps towards that bigger plan.   

Which brings me to the last step.

Step 7:  Feel Gratitude for Small Changes

You must continue to feel gratitude for even the smallest positive changes.  It could be just that you took any step at all.  It could be that you met someone new.  It could be that you had two whole days in a row that you didn’t let yourself get pulled down into negative thinking.  Whatever it is, find gratitude for small changes.  Give thanks to spirit for giving you love, support and guidance.  

Remember that gratitude brings you closer to the mind of God and will keep the gateway open for ever bigger things to come your way.

Putting it All Together

You may have realized by now that really, these steps aren’t things you do to cross off your list one by one and then forget about them.  They all need to become part of your everyday life.  

If you feel yourself trying to control things too much by using your head more than your heart to take action, you may need to let go again.  You will certainly need to continually recommit to being positive and feeling gratitude.  It’s obvious that one inspired action isn’t going to cut it.  And above all, you know that cultivating a constant state of awareness of your negative thoughts is something you’ll need to work at daily.  

This stuff is hard.   

But it’s also way more efficient than trying to change your outward reality directly and ignoring your inner reality.  You’ll become happier before you have the things you think you need to make you happy.  Your relationships will be more compassionate and fulfilling because you’ll take responsibility for your own triggers instead of blaming the other for triggering you.  And above all, you’ll clear the darkness dwelling within you, paving the way for miracles in your life and helping others become more joyful by your example.

So what’re you waiting for?  Start now and give up!


This was a lot of information.  The steps for transforming your life by harnessing the powers of your subconscious mind and spirit are summarized below.  I hope this was helpful to you and as always, I welcome your comments.  

  1. Give Up (pray for help, let go of blame, let spirit figure out the details)
  2. Feel Gratitude (..for what you can, honestly; this brings your mind closer to spirit)
  3. Commit to Patience & Positivity (keep the train moving towards you)
  4. Cultivate Self-Awareness (starve the black wolf & find the root of negative thoughts)
  5. Take Inspired Action (small, but different; let your heart & synchronicity lead the way)
  6. Recommit to Patience & Positivity (don’t get discouraged if actions don’t pan out)
  7. Feel Gratitude for Small Changes (draws bigger changes towards you)

If this article resonates with you and you’d like some guidance in implementing these steps for yourself, please contact me, or schedule an appointment directly on my Schedule Now tab on my WillowSource profile

Kyle Post is the co-founder of WillowSource and founder/owner of Origins Healing in East Aurora, NY.  In addition to working as a BioGenesis energy healer, Kyle combines his experiences with energy work and natural health supplements to help those who are feeling stuck in any area of their life gain back their power, joy and self-confidence to manifest the life they desire.

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